Was I catfish-ed? | Dating misadventures

Six months ago, I started talking to a nice guy on an internet dating website. He was 29 years old, average in appearance and a non-smoker. All great demographics. His family were Australian-Italians and he was very involved with them. He told me that he lived on the Gold Coast and worked in IT at a school.

We had great conversations to start off with. He was cautious because he had been unlucky in love more than once. He wanted to take things slow and get to know each other before possibly going for a date. I wasn’t in a hurry to push the date front because I don’t live near the Gold Coast at all and didn’t know how to broach the topic. But we talked most days and they were really long, detailed messages.

This all occurred at the same time that I was speaking to my ex-kinda boyfriend. And honestly, I liked the Italian one better. He paid me more attention (despite less messages overall) and really seemed to care what I had to say.

But he went cold.

Because I liked him, I tried to make contact a few more times. But eventually things stopped. For nearly four months. At first, I was just giving him space because I knew that his sister was getting married in October and the whole family was busy preparing for it. But by the time November rolled around I was already in deep with my ex and the Italian didn’t cross my mind.

And then he sent me a random message before Christmas. He apologised for taking so long to message me back and asked if I wanted to Skype that night. We hadn’t Skyped before and I didn’t have great internet access at the time, so we just settled for emailing. At that stage, I wasn’t really keen on him given the glacial speed of the progress of our relationship but I was bored and looking for something to occupy my time. He sent a few messages, often going days between emailing me back and (as always) I felt that I was the one holding up the conversation.

Last weekend, I offered to Skype him and he suggested New Years Eve if I wasn’t busy. I agreed and gave him a time. But he messaged me ten minutes before hand to say that he was just starting a movie night and asked to rain check. I hadn’t actually expected for him to make the Skype date and would have been surprised if he had actually called.

I don’t understand this guy. He was all hot and then cold and then really hot again without any intention of keeping his word. Am I being catfished? Is this man trying to play with my feelings? Or is it just some male ego thing because he kept me dangling idly for four months? Either way, I haven’t been impressed since he re-initiated contact and I sure as hell will not be organising any Skype conversations in the future.

Do you think I’ve been catfished?

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