When do you say ‘I do’? | Reality Check

I guess marriage means different things to different people and to me, your interpretation generally determines how you celebrate a marriage. I personally take a Catholic view to marriage, in that the couple help each other to grow in faith and love of God and ultimately help each other to get to heaven (and all in which that entails). Therefore, if I ever get married it will be in a Catholic church. My sister takes a different stand and believes that marriage is required for the conception of children. She wants to get married at the court house with a pub meal reception.

To others, marriage comes after a certain duration in their relationship or some perceived ‘next step’. They have moved in together, own a pet and potentially have children so they get married for the sake of ‘why not’. Then there is the spur of the moment, impulsive marriages. And finally there are marriages for legal reasons.

Whatever your ¬†approach to marriage, how do you decide when is the right time to get married? I’ll admit that I have never, ever been close to getting married so I have literally no idea what the marriage discussion sounds like. And I guess that you also have to consider what happens if you decide that you don’t want to marry someone and what do you do at that point?

I believe that if you cannot see yourself marrying your partner then you should end the relationship. To me, there is no point on holding onto something that (for whatever reason) is not working and should let each other go to find your ultimate partner. But does this decision/revelation happen after 1 year, 2 years, 5 years or 10 years? At what point are you hanging onto something that is stagnant or broken?

I remember a girl I went to high school with. She started seeing a guy when she was 14 and it was against the wishes of her parents because he was 18. They saw each other in secret for a few years until her parents finally accepted the age difference. She used to brag that he practically lived with her family when she was 17 and she hated not sleeping in the same bed as him. Fast forward 10 years and they have a 2 year old child and her father had found him a sweet job working for the family company. They were the kind of couple who liked to publicise the quality of their relationship on Facebook with lovey-dovey wall posts. She frequently noted how she had been dropping hints about wanting to get married for years. Then finally after 10 000 plus days, he popped the question.They split up 6 months later.

So I guess my question is, when do you know that you should get married and when do you give up?

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