Dealing with disappointment | Reality Check

It’s been a long hard slog to get you here today. You’ve worked hard for a long time, made sacrifices that others didn’t have to. You’ve been responsible. You’ve been loyal. You’ve been amazing.

But sometimes the hard work is not enough. Not even close.

At the end of the day you are still a single person with a single person’s wage and loneliness. You maybe ready, willing and able to take the next step forward but something holds you back, something stagnates you. He didn’t fall in love with you too or maybe the bank told you that you couldn’t buy that house. And you know for a fact that a couple with more financial obligations than you and more debt are somehow able to achieve their more expensive dream. It’s just not fair.

So how do you deal with that scale of disappointment? I hope the below steps will help you.

  1. Cry. Go on girl, you cry your eyes out! It is okay to be disappointed when you had your heart set on something. Don’t hold it in because it will come out at the most inconvenient time, believe me.
  2. Go on with life like normal. Husband left you? Miss out on that job? Sure, be sad and disappointed but never stop living. Don’t miss a day of work or cancel a lunch with friends to be sad on your own. It will take your mind off your problem and distract you for a few hours. And if you are lucky then your subconscious will be working away on a plan to ameliorate the effects of your road block.
  3. Vent. Tell as many friends and family members as you trust because they will listen but also offer advice if you want it. They love you and your disappointment is their disappointment and they just want to be there for you. And I’m sure that you will return the favour one day.
  4. Analyse. What went wrong and what can I work on next time? Maybe your resume lacked a little sparkle or maybe you played a little too hard to get. And (the most hated question of all time), what were your strengths and weaknesses? If your relationship broke down, don’t focus on the why but turn it into a ‘what can be done better next time’.
  5. If you need, vent again.The analysis stage can be pretty grueling and may force you to face some uncomfortable truths. You may feel a bit isolated since your support network are not going through the same thing. Enlighten them to your heartache and talk about it so that you don’t get bogged down in the mistakes. And do we really need another excuse to eat some comfort food.
  6. Try again. It’s the only option because if we stop trying then we simply stop. And I don’t mean to attempt exactly the same thing because that would be madness. Learn from the mistake and approach the situation from a different perspective. Remember to put a cover sheet on the next resume you send out. Look in a different location for your next boyfriend. Do a little more financial research before setting your heart on a house.

I hope this was helpful as I’ve recently just gone through this entire process with a rather disappointing set back in my life. So I hope that someone else can learn from my mistakes.

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