Retail therapy | When you try to be independent

After a recent rejection (known only to me, the guy didn’t even know that he was rejecting me), I made a big life decision and decided to buy my own home. I honestly thought that I would be a little bit older and have a family on the way by the time my husband and I would make this momentous decision but I sit here with a contract to my right still utterly single.

Nearly everyone I know has the dream that they will some day own their own family home and have a family to go with it. And I was no different. I always imagined that I would be making dinner for the kids at the end of a long day at work and my husband would come home and wrap his arms around me, thanking me for being a great mother. The walls would be covered in family photos and a dog or two (or three) would run around madly as the kids played with them.

And I was very proud of myself for making this giant step towards my future. I was nesting, preparing myself for the day that the right man came along and we wouldn’t have to wait very long to live my dream. So despite my rejection by the lawyer and my failing self confidence, I was moving on. I was going to be halfway to the home plate by having my own home and I just needed to fill it with a family.

But then I realised that this purchase of a life time was not actually retail therapy to mend a broken heart/ego. Instead it was me acknowledging that I don’t need a boyfriend/husband/family to achieve my home owner dream. I wasn’t nesting for the future. I was buying a house despite being single. It was an investment in me, in my future, and I had no right to diminish the importance of making this decision for myself and not some imaginary future family.

So to all my single friends out there- don’t wait for  a relationship or family to fulfill your dreams. They are your dreams, your hopes and your responsibility to achieve them.

I believe in you.

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